Caring from the Heart

Big Sister Nancy Meister Doty and Little Sister Brenda Clark

(From left) Nancy and Brenda in 1970 - just 7 months after they were matched; at Nancy's wedding in 1974; and with BBBS Executive Director Ed Hagan at the BBBS Centennial Dinner in 2004

I first met my Big Sister on June 3, 1970.  My grandmother Shirley took my three older sisters and me to her church that evening to meet our own Big Sisters. The church basement was decorated like a big birthday party.  This had extra special meaning for me because it really was my birthday.  It was my sixth birthday and one that I'll always remember.

The room was filled with lots of woman and excited young girls like me.  I still recall the ice cream sundae that I ate with my new Big Sister Nancy.  She told me how extra special I was at the table because it was my birthday.

What I didn't know then was that I would still have my Big Sister in my life thirty-three years later to share things with and grow old together.

I was born the youngest of four girls and was being raised by a single father.   My parents were divorced at a young age.  When I met my Big Sister, I was too young to realize what having a Big Sister really meant.

My older sisters were then eleven, ten, and eight.  Their relationships with their Big Sisters did not last as long as mine, but this was due to various life events.  Some matches evolve with marriage, family, and career changes, and others do not.  Either way, the impact that a Big Sister makes can last years – even a lifetime.

My match with Nancy opened a new world for me.  She introduced me to her family and showed me what true family values were.   I still fondly refer to her parents as Aunt Lill and Uncle Joe.  We shared many great conversations on trips to visit them, and we would attend church on Sunday.  Nancy adored me, and she always let me know she was there for me.

When I was ten, Nancy enrolled me in charm school.  There I learned proper manners and how to carry myself as a young lady.  Nancy knew what I needed, and I always admired and aspired to be like her.

Nancy's husband to be, Art Doty, took my charm school graduation photo.  That photo represents my transition from a tomboy to a little lady and makes me smile every time I see it.

Even after her marriage, Nancy continued to make me a part of her life. She was essential to my growth as a teenager when I was learning about independence and responsibility.

Her own career was inspiring to me because she worked hard but had always taken a few hours a week to spend with me, even if it was just a trip to McDonald's or a movie at home.  She had taken me to work with her on career day. Now they call it Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, but I'd much prefer Bring Your Little Sister (or Brother) to Work Day!

It was very reassuring to know that Nancy would never give up on me.  I was included in her family vacations and was always excited to go camping and skiing.

My father was not always able to afford vacations, but he was always thankful for my Big Sister and for her involvement with me.  My father, Nancy and Art are good friends.  My father and Nancy are the two most important people in my life.

At the age of eighteen, I moved to Florida.  There were sometimes long periods of time when we didn't always call or write, but whenever we did, it was so easy to catch up on lost time.  In my mind and in my heart, Nancy has always cared about me and given me advice when asked.

Every visit to Michigan always included a visit from Nancy and Art.  It was always a special vacation from Florida when I could also visit with Aunt Lill and Uncle Joe.  I still have the pink elephant piggy bank that they bought for me at the Detroit Zoo when I was a little girl.  Her parents are elderly now, and time I get to visit with them is even more important with each passing year.  

My life has been forever changed as a result of my relationship and match with this wonderful lady.  She always remembers my birthday and brings a smile to my face with her Valentine, Halloween, and Christmas card greetings and packages.  She's been my role model and helped me become the woman that I am today.

I now live in San Francisco where I am a successful, single, career woman.  I have been working in the hospital industry for the last fifteen years and now work for one of the top ten hospitals in the country.  My career and profession are very important achievements in my life, but I feel I am the confident and strong person I am today because of my Big Sister.

As a tribute to Nancy, I've recently applied to the local chapter in San Francisco to become a Big Sister.  I know there is a young girl who will benefit from all that I have learned about the bond of friendship and true caring from the heart.

                                                                         By Brenda Clark

This story, from a Lansing match, was included in the BBBS Centennial book "Little Moments Big Magic".  Click here for more information or to order this book full of heartwarming stories.